Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men (2003 – 2015)

2003 • 12 seasons • Comedy • TV-14

On August 8, 2026

#132 ▲ 112

132nd by attention TV show online

55.4 Attention Score

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Overview Watch Cast Seasons (12) Episodes Ranked Similar Videos Images

photo from the episode

Episode 4 — If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Season 1 • Two and a Half Men

Released: 2003-10-13 • Comedy

76%

User score

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Episodes

Episode 1
Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal
2003-09-22

Episode 2
Big Flappy Bastards
2003-09-29

Episode 3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
2003-10-06

Episode 4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
2003-10-13

Episode 5
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
2003-10-20

Episode 6
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
2003-10-27

Episode 7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
2003-11-03

Episode 8
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
2003-11-10

Episode 9
Phase One, Complete
2003-11-17

Episode 10
Merry Thanksgiving
2003-11-24

Episode 11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
2003-12-15

Episode 12
Camel Filters and Pheromones
2004-01-05

Episode 13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
2004-01-12

Episode 14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
2004-02-02

Episode 15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
2004-02-09

Episode 16
That Was Saliva, Alan
2004-02-16

Episode 17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
2004-02-23

Episode 18
An Old Flame with a New Wick
2004-03-01

Episode 19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
2004-03-22

Episode 20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
2004-04-19

Episode 21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
2004-05-03

Episode 22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
2004-05-10

Episode 23
Just Like Buffalo
2004-05-17

Episode 24
Can You Feel My Finger?
2004-05-24

Information

Creator	Chuck Lorre
Episode air date	13.10.2003
Episode runtime	21 min
Episode rating	7.56
Genres	Comedy
TMDB series rating	7.4
IMDb series rating	7.1
Series status	Ended
Age rating	14+
Country	US

Trailer

Additional videos

Two and a Half Men: Best of Charlie Harper

Two and a Half Men: Best of Charlie Harper

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Two and a Half Men: Best of Season 3

Two and a Half Men: Best of Season 3

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Charlie and Jake Go For Shopping

Charlie and Jake Go For Shopping

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Two and a Half Men: Behind the Scenes

Two and a Half Men: Behind the Scenes

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Clip: Jake Got an A

Clip: Jake Got an A

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Opening Theme Song

Opening Theme Song

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Season 4 Bloopers

Season 4 Bloopers

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Cast

Ashton Kutcher
Walden Schmidt

Jon Cryer
Alan Harper

Conchata Ferrell

Conchata Ferrell
Berta

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Recommended shows

aka Charlie Sheen

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